Posted on October 23, 2007 Filed Under Daily News |
Four years ago today, a hole was drilled in my skull and a small microchip controlled pump was inserted into a space inside my brain, along with a tube running from the right ventricle to my abdominal cavity.
Although a ventriculoperitoneal shunt, as the procedure is known is fairly common, there is no such thing as “minor brain surgery”. Any form of neurosurgery is considered a major operation, and is therefore high risk.
Of course, at the time, this was not a big concern of mine. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, the hydrocephalus that the shunt was intended to relieve was so severe, that I was barely aware of what was going on around me, or even where I was.
A line in my discharge summary tellingly notes: “Psychiatrist consulted: mentally incapacitated person for consent.” The truth is, I have almost completely blacked out this whole period from my memory, And even now, years later, I have only faint memories of what went on in the period leading up to the operation.
The only thing I remember is waking up in intensive care, a few days after the surgery. Don’t worry; nothing went wrong, its normal procedure for brain surgery patients to be moved to intensive care after the operation. Like I said, there is no minor brain surgery!
After the operation, my condition began to steadily improve, and a seven week stay in a medical rehab facility helped bring my back to near full fitness.
However, looking back over the four years since the operation, it’s not the physical challenges; like learning to use my legs again after two months confined to a bed; or not being able to go through airport metal detectors, because of the microchip in my head; that I remember, it’s the spiritual growth that is clearest in my mind.
From hearing God’s voice while standing on the roof of the rehab centre, telling me, there was a purpose to everything I’d been through, to my first mission trip, to volunteering at Nehemiah House, to meeting the Karen, to hearing the call to commit my life to helping the people God had put on my heart, its been an awesome journey.
Looking back at where I was before, I know now that I could not have gone on like that. I was going nowhere. I was in a kind of emotional and intellectual holding pattern.
I needed a push to get me out of the rut I had fallen into, and while brain surgery may seem like a rather hefty shove on God’s part, it was just what I needed.
From the depths of the pit to wherever it is I am going, there is no turning back now. There is a quote I’m trying to recall from Sonny Barger’s autobiography about freedom and the terrible price he had to pay for it. If having brain surgery was the price I had to pay, then it was worth it.
So, where were you on this day four years ago? And where do you think you will be four years from now?
